You know you're 9 months pregnant when...

1. You go to bed exhausted and have a horrible 4 hours of sleep, decide to get up at 5 am because there is no point in ruining your husbands sleep and let your back keep hurting, and then just go about your day like nothing ever happened... and still do something productive that day.

2. You can't see your lower body when you look down.

3. Your feet look like they have Vienna sausages attached to them instead of toes

4. You feel like at any moment you could fall forward because you have a bowling ball under your shirt.

5. Your boobs are so big you are afraid that if you move to fast you are liable to knock yourself out

6. You spend more time in the bathroom than any other room....anywhere

7.  Sex is not about love and passion between spouses, its about trying to get the baby to come

8. Being so desperate to have your body back, you're all of a sudden a lot less critical of all those wives tales you've heard

9. Food actually talks to you

10. The only things people ask you anymore are, "when is your  due date?", "do you know what you're having?", "Do you have the name picked out?"

11. You wonder how such a little person can have/need so much stuff

12. You're belly can contort into almost any shape

13. Your parents cease to really care about you, and only keep you around because you are an obstacle to the future grandchild

14. You wonder how you could have ever been fooled into marriage by the idiot sleeping next to you, and in the next moment think he is the best guy in the whole world, and every other woman should be jealous

15. People you walk by, either look at you and smile, or look at you like you have the black plague and give you a wide berth as they walk by

I could go on, but we'd be here all day! I'm sure every mother can relate to at least one of these statements! My praises to all the women who have gone before me and suffered this. Pregnancy is truly the best kept secret because I just can't imagine that we as women would continue to do this if we really knew what we were getting into the first time. Its only after the kid comes that you realize the pain and suffering is worth it ....or at least thats what they tell me...so we keep having more!